Votos

Yo te tomo a ti, Herminio Paulino Villarreal, como mi legítimo esposo, para que los dos seamos uno solo desde este día en adelante, para bien o para mal, en riqueza o pobreza, en prosperidad o en adversidad, para cuidarte y amarte hasta que la muerte nos separe.

Is that an example of procrastination?

Inspirado por los excelentes Tales of Mere Existence, de Lev Yilmaz.

(¿versión final?)

Most of the times, while coming back from work (on the bus, during the walk home or while buying something to eat for dinner) I give myself some kind of pseudo-convincing discipline-speech: I tell myself I shall not sit on the computer to check stuff that I know is not gonna be enriching; tell myself there are other things, productive and fun things to do. But, nevertheless, whenever I come home, no matter how early or late it is, I almost inevitably sit on my couch in front of the computer, connect to the internet, get online on msn, check my inbox folder, absurdly check my facebook and, eventually, log on to those Asian hook-up sites... you know, to raise my self-esteem a little bit. Then sooner or later i get a little bit sick of it and impetuously begin to shut windows down, and every time I close one of those windows, reminding myself how stupid it was to waste my time doing non-sense in front of the screen, I stare at the desktop, enjoy the art of the current desktop picture, think about how many productive things I could be doing (like when the guy who did that picture sat down and began to paint), stare again at the desktop, double click on the msn icon I had closed before, get online, check who is online, realize my nickname is actually out-of-date (that I don’t care that much about that anymore), change it for something I find touching, fun, smart or any combination of them, then realize my profile picture is out-of-date (that I don’t think it suits my mood anymore or just that I don’t think I look good in that picture anymore), search for a profile picture I find worth-seeing, stare at it for a while to see if it fits my mood, set the picture as my new profile picture. Check who is online, discover someone I like is online, not speaking to that person because he surely does not want to talk to me (he would do so, otherwise), minimize msn window, open a browser window, type “facebook.com”, login to facebook, absurdly check my wall, check someone else’s wall, check if the person I like has updated something, check if he is still single, check if anyone is online, realize no one is, minimize the browser, open msn window, check if that person is still online, realize he’s definitely not gonna speak to me no matter how much I imagined and rehearsed that situation, figure out how stupid I am for expecting my love life to get richer because of some free instant-messaging software, feel a bit disappointed, feel sad, feel angry, shut msn window and then also the browser. After a minimal lag phase, feel sad again, feel sad and lonely and, a bit later, feel strongly sad and lonely, feel like I would feel better if somehow I could get some random compliment or if, in a lucky streak, I could begin meeting someone. Double click on the internet browser icon, type the web address of an Asian hook-up site, check who’s interested in me, check who has added me to his favorite list, check my inbox folder, read some e-mails, answer some e-mails, visit some new profiles, find some guys attractive and show them my interest even if they are free members like me and we will surely never make any further contact, feel cute and happy for all the guys with handsome picture who are interested in me, feel even more cute and happy to receive their e-mails, answer them, add them to msn, go to the desktop, double click on msn icon, login, add my new handsome Asian friends to my msn, check who is online, check my inbox folder, check who is online, shut msn window, shut internet browser. Stare at the picture on my desktop, think about how much time I have wasted from the last time I thought about doing productive stuff, think about all the productive stuff I could be doing. Feel lonely, feel sad, feel angry, turn off the computer, stare at some random point in my room, think about what I could do, walk to my bed to sit there and think about what I could do, lay in bed, take a book and start reading, find it really interesting, feel tired because of all the work I had done before coming home, regret about not having picked the book before sitting on the computer, continue reading, enjoy the reading, feel tired again in the middle of the reading, complain, feel angry, feel tired, feel lonely, feel sad. Fall asleep.

facts

Si me gusta escribir es en parte porque ignoro el momento en el que la gente se aburre.